Winding Road

Well, the rain keeps on coming down
Feels like a flood in my head
And that road keeps on calling me
Screaming to everything lying ahead

And it's a winding road
I've been walking for a long time
Still don't know where it goes
And it's a long way home
I've been searching for a long time
I still have hope
I'm gonna find my way home

And I can see a little house on top of the hill
And I can smell the ocean, the salt in the air
And I can see you
You're standing there, and you're washing your car
And I can see California sun in your hair

And it's a winding road
I've been walking for a long time
I still don't know where it goes
And it's a long way home
I still have hope
We're gonna find our way home.

So California. Finally, after all these years, I may have my chance, and I am nothing but excited.

Since when am I Little Miss Optimism? I don't know why, but I have a really good feeling about everything that's coming. I'm pretty sure it's all going to work out just right, for all of us. True, it won't feel so hot a few months down the line when everyone else starts to leave and Mike and I go back to being lonely old married recluses. But it's that bad feeling that's going to cement my decision, because it's all of the people in my life that have made me just begin to feel content about being here. When these people are gone, I'll get restless again. I've been ready to go for a long time, but there have been a lot of things keeping me here... but now it feels like every part of my life is ready and willing to join me, and suddenly it all seems so simple. Good friends, best friend, boyfriend, even job could all be there right along with me - so what would I be leaving behind? Not a whole lot. To me, it seems like the easiest decision in the world, because the alternative would be being left behind (yes, consider for a moment what that would be like - I'd like to eliminate all possibility of that. Much easier to leave than to be left.).

Speaking of friends - and best friends - it occurred to me how much easier it would be to see Heather if I lived in San Francisco. It's not quite right around the corner from L.A., but it's a hell of a lot closer than New York. It could be a second chance at having the kind of friendship we used to have.

Someone, please give me a downside. There must be one.

The only hard part will be waiting almost a year. True, there's no guarantee that things won't change between now and then, but I've been wanting to make that move for as long as I can remember. I think it will literally take the entire state collapsing into the ocean to keep me away. If catastrophic things do happen in my own life, then I'll take it as an indication that it really wasn't meant to be. I can live with myself if the big decisions are taken out of my hands, but not if I have every opportunity to take action and I just don't. I will cross any bridge as it comes, but I can't base my decision now on things that might go wrong later.

This great idea of Christine's is one of those things that only works if we're all in.

......so, who's with me?