Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes; I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again.
I'm in a bit of a state of shock. I found out the other day that the vet hospital I worked at for more than three years was just sold to the Monroe Veterinary Associaton (who, from what I'm told, are evil bastards). I don't work there anymore, and it shouldn't mean anything to me, but it feels like I've moved away from home and my parents have suddenly decided to sell the house I grew up in. The hospital was more of a fixture in my life than any other institution since high school has been...I don't think so much of my "college years" as I do of my "PVH years." I made some of the most lasting friendships of my life there, and that was where I learned what hard work was. It would be the main setting of my "coming of age story," if I were to write one.
It's frustrating, because the whole time I was there, our core group of kennel employees always talked about the day when things would change around there...when OSHA would shut the place down for safety and health code violations, when Dr. Pulver would retire/keel over and die (either would have been fine), or when we would all just walk out and go on strike. The constant refrain was "Things will never change around here." I was always desperately searching for a better job, but I also always hoped that if things did change, I would be there to see it. And now this comes, when all but one of that original crew is gone. It makes me wish I'd stuck it out and stayed on for weekends, just to see how it all went down. It sounds like it might be bad for the doctors and techs, but I'm guessing that once the place is run by actual professionals, things could get quite a bit better for the kennel staff. I've always thought about going back someday, and I've always hoped that despite our differences, if I ever really, really needed a job and had nowhere else to turn, Dr. Pulver would let me come back. I wouldn't be the first to come crawling back years after quitting. But that won't be much of an option now, with Monroe running the place. I guess this really is goodbye.
* * * *
I should be working on my short story right now. That's going nowhere fast. I could at least be reading the two stories I'll have to critique on Tuesday...I was so unprepared for class last week, and I don't want that to happen again. Maybe if I spent a little less time killing brain cells, and a little more time being productive...
My first celebration of St. Patrick's Day was interesting, to say the least. Wasted Potash was just about the funniest damn thing I've ever seen. Green beer, my only preconception about the holiday, is apparently a myth. Two bars, and nothing but garden-variety regular-colored beer to be seen. And somehow, I never managed to get really drunk. Happy, slightly buzzed, irritable, happy again, hyper-emotional, sullen, slutty, happy yet again, and back to irritable, but never truly inebriated. What a disappointment.
* * * *
Yes, I'm putting scene breaks in my blog. My thoughts are jumping all over the place, and I've got to organize them somehow.
I've been kind of a bitch lately, and there's someone I should apologize to (you know who you are...if you're not sure, then it's not you). I don't want to be that way, but I can't seem to get myself to stop doing it. There's no excuse. I'm really in need of some time alone, to regroup, reflect, and rediscover myself. Ever just feel the need to run away from it all? Just run like hell, and damn the consequences. There's a possible move in my future, and a couple of road trips that I'm really looking forward to...but I want to run NOW. Just get in my car and drive, go to a new place all alone, and just be in that place without having to be anything in particular. When you're always around other people, even the people you're closest to, there's always an expectation for how you have to be, always at least a little bit of pressure, even if it's just the pressure to be kind when all you feel like doing is lashing out. You can never just do or say whatever comes to mind, because it will inevitably hurt someone. I feel like all I've done lately is hurt people. And it's exhausting. I need to change it.
Speaking of change, today is the start of my new healthy lifestyle. That's about the 50th new start I've given myself, but I think I mean it this time. I'm going places this summer; I'm travelling, and going to beaches, and I want to be hot. I don't just want to be somewhere around the 70th percentile of reasonably attractive girls (probably a generous assessment) - I want to be smokin' hot. I've done nothing but sit on my ass and eat burritos for the last few weeks, and all my clothes are getting just a little bit tighter. But that's it - I mean it this time - I'm really going to work on myself. Salads! Exercise every day! Restraint! Yes!
It's frustrating, because the whole time I was there, our core group of kennel employees always talked about the day when things would change around there...when OSHA would shut the place down for safety and health code violations, when Dr. Pulver would retire/keel over and die (either would have been fine), or when we would all just walk out and go on strike. The constant refrain was "Things will never change around here." I was always desperately searching for a better job, but I also always hoped that if things did change, I would be there to see it. And now this comes, when all but one of that original crew is gone. It makes me wish I'd stuck it out and stayed on for weekends, just to see how it all went down. It sounds like it might be bad for the doctors and techs, but I'm guessing that once the place is run by actual professionals, things could get quite a bit better for the kennel staff. I've always thought about going back someday, and I've always hoped that despite our differences, if I ever really, really needed a job and had nowhere else to turn, Dr. Pulver would let me come back. I wouldn't be the first to come crawling back years after quitting. But that won't be much of an option now, with Monroe running the place. I guess this really is goodbye.
* * * *
I should be working on my short story right now. That's going nowhere fast. I could at least be reading the two stories I'll have to critique on Tuesday...I was so unprepared for class last week, and I don't want that to happen again. Maybe if I spent a little less time killing brain cells, and a little more time being productive...
My first celebration of St. Patrick's Day was interesting, to say the least. Wasted Potash was just about the funniest damn thing I've ever seen. Green beer, my only preconception about the holiday, is apparently a myth. Two bars, and nothing but garden-variety regular-colored beer to be seen. And somehow, I never managed to get really drunk. Happy, slightly buzzed, irritable, happy again, hyper-emotional, sullen, slutty, happy yet again, and back to irritable, but never truly inebriated. What a disappointment.
* * * *
Yes, I'm putting scene breaks in my blog. My thoughts are jumping all over the place, and I've got to organize them somehow.
I've been kind of a bitch lately, and there's someone I should apologize to (you know who you are...if you're not sure, then it's not you). I don't want to be that way, but I can't seem to get myself to stop doing it. There's no excuse. I'm really in need of some time alone, to regroup, reflect, and rediscover myself. Ever just feel the need to run away from it all? Just run like hell, and damn the consequences. There's a possible move in my future, and a couple of road trips that I'm really looking forward to...but I want to run NOW. Just get in my car and drive, go to a new place all alone, and just be in that place without having to be anything in particular. When you're always around other people, even the people you're closest to, there's always an expectation for how you have to be, always at least a little bit of pressure, even if it's just the pressure to be kind when all you feel like doing is lashing out. You can never just do or say whatever comes to mind, because it will inevitably hurt someone. I feel like all I've done lately is hurt people. And it's exhausting. I need to change it.
Speaking of change, today is the start of my new healthy lifestyle. That's about the 50th new start I've given myself, but I think I mean it this time. I'm going places this summer; I'm travelling, and going to beaches, and I want to be hot. I don't just want to be somewhere around the 70th percentile of reasonably attractive girls (probably a generous assessment) - I want to be smokin' hot. I've done nothing but sit on my ass and eat burritos for the last few weeks, and all my clothes are getting just a little bit tighter. But that's it - I mean it this time - I'm really going to work on myself. Salads! Exercise every day! Restraint! Yes!
posted by Kristen | 12:10 PM
1 Comments:
Hmmm......clean, insoiled, unmolested comment page. how refreshing!
Sticking around a place that changing is not a fun thing. Im doing that right now and have done it once before. its not the ame afterward and depressing seeing what was. I never went bak inside what was Village Green . i have kept that oath to this day.
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